EP53: Who would you be without your job title?
What happens when your job becomes your identity?
In this episode, we explore the deep emotional work behind career change — the moment when you realise that the title you’ve spent years building no longer fits who you are.
You’ll hear how one GP, completely burned out by a system she once loved, began to rediscover herself beyond her role. And I’ll share my own experience of letting go of “CEO and Founder Alisa” to find purpose and freedom on the other side of quitting.
This conversation is for anyone who feels stuck between loving their work but hating their job — anyone wondering who they might be without the label.
If you’re ready to rebuild your confidence, find meaningful work, and design a career that serves your life (not the other way around), this episode will help you take that first step.
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Full Transcript
Alisa
Today I want to ask you a difficult question: Who would you be without your job?
Because the answer, for many of us, is really unclear. And that fear — of not knowing who we would be without our job and our job titles — is one of the most powerful factors that's keeping people stuck in jobs that they hate.
It's keeping people stuck long after, internally, they've made that decision that they want to change. And yet somehow, quarter after quarter, year after year, there they are — still in the same job, still making the same sacrifices, unable to let go and finally make that leap into work that would feel deeply meaningful to them.
Because our identities get so tied up with our jobs. It's often how we introduce ourselves to someone. It's often how people judge us. As soon as we say our job title, that comes with certain implications, certain prestige, a certain level of, “Oh, that's interesting. Tell me more about that.” And we get really, really attached to that.
And no wonder. We spend so much of our adult lives in our jobs. It's a necessary coping strategy to attach that much meaning to our work. And for me, it’s okay if our work is that deeply meaningful to us — but to attach that same importance to a job and to a title and to a specific role, that becomes really quite tricky.
That is when we can get trapped inside of organisations that we don't align with. We don't align with their values. We don't align with their purpose. We want something more for ourselves — but oh my goodness, it's scary to let go of that identity and find out who we are without it.
And that's exactly what I'm here to encourage you to do today.
A Friend’s Story
I'm going to share a story of a friend of mine, so that you can see exactly what this kind of attachment looks like in action. I'm gonna tell you about my own experience of what it was like for me, after 15 years, to finally let go of the title of Founder and CEO — and how difficult that was for me, truly.
And then I'm gonna give you some practical tips so that if you find yourself in this position, if you're hearing this question and it's really hitting you in the stomach, and you know that this could be the thing that is keeping you stuck, I'm gonna give you practical steps that you can take — different ways that you can explore this — so you can start freeing yourself up and really discover who you are beyond the confines of your job.
So let's start with an introduction to a friend of mine. She is an absolutely formidable woman. She has four children and she is a GP — which, for my friends outside of the UK, means she's a family doctor. She works incredibly long hours under extremely stressful conditions. You probably don't need me to tell you — the NHS in this country, it's on its knees. The system is broken. So many incredible professionals who are so passionate about medicine are leaving the NHS because it is, frankly, just breaking them in half.
And my friend has felt that strain for a number of years. In fact, the very first time I met her, she talked about what she wanted to do beyond her role as a GP. But it's five years later — and she's still there.
But I have hopes that that is finally about to change for her. Because for personal reasons, she's had a number of weeks where she hasn't been at work. And for the first time, she truly has that space for change.
And you'll know from previous episodes that making space is one of the absolute non-negotiables of making a regenerative career transition. And now that she has that space, she's really able to see and feel deeply the level of sacrifice that she has been making for that job.
She told me about what it meant to her to be able to make a home-cooked meal for her children and have that ready before they even got home from school. She talked about the simple joy of being able to just cuddle up on the sofa with her daughter and watch TV and chat about her day.
That sounds so simple, but that is such a luxury for someone that's in a really high-pressured, high-stress role.
And I asked her, “You've known you've wanted to make this change for a long time, and now you can feel what it's costing you. But there must be a reason you're staying. You're a very, very smart woman. What is it that is keeping you there?”
And she said, “I don't know who I am without this job.”
Now think about it — medical training, years and years of training in extremely high-pressured situations. And then you finally get the kind of placements that you're looking for, you're constantly upskilling, you're moving your way up through the surgery structure until you get to that senior level.
For this friend of mine, her whole career — from the moment she moved into higher education — has been geared towards this job that she's in now. And I think that's so true for so many of us, and for many of you listening: the role that you're doing now is what you have been working towards for years, if not decades. It's what you were always supposed to want.
And what do you do when you stop feeling that love? Probably, like my friend, you haven't stopped loving the work — but you've outgrown the job, or you've realized that the job is within a system that is just fundamentally broken and isn't going to be changed.
That attachment to our title and to our role is so profound because it's deeply connected to how we understand ourselves. As my friend said, she just doesn't know who she is without it.
The Scale of Courage
So when I encourage people to take that leap out of corporate — when I talk about finding the courage to quit — let's take a moment and understand the scale of courage that we're talking about.
Because really, what I'm asking you to do is confront the fact that you don't know who you are outside of that job. And I'm saying to you: take the leap and find out.
And let me tell you, I know from personal experience how destabilizing and uncomfortable that can be.
Because for 15 years, I was the Founder and CEO of my own company. And actually, it goes deeper than this — so let's get really personal for a moment. This is a personal topic, so I'm gonna go there.
My Story
I started my career as an actor. I wanted to be an actor for as long as I can remember. As soon as anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was “an actor.” I always knew that was what I was going to do, and I headed in exactly the direction that I was meant to.
I did all of the local dramatic societies, the plays, the roles. I got into what’s probably considered to be the most prestigious drama school in the world. I went to that school, I got a good agent, I left early to do work. Acting was always the thing. I never considered the possibility that I would do anything else in my career. I was very, very tied up in that identity and in that passion.
And then, as things turned out, I ended up making this really quite dramatic shift into the world of business when I was just 25. I had absolutely no credentials for what I was doing — it was just kind of pure nerve and adrenaline and luck.
That was a big shift for me. It was a very big decision to give up acting. But I was able to do it because I replaced it with this really juicy identity around being a founder and being the CEO of my own company. And when people who had known me as an actor asked what I was doing, I got to say, “I'm the Founder and CEO of Life Size Media.”
Having that title really carried me through the ups and downs and the difficult times. As I built my credentials in the world of climate tech and communications, and as my skills deepened and my reputation developed, that only served to deepen my attachment to that title.
For many years, when someone would say, “Introduce yourself,” that was absolutely what I would lead with. When people asked me about myself, the very first thing I would talk about was my role in my own company.
And I loved it. To be honest, I absolutely loved being a Founder and CEO. I loved hanging out with other founders. I loved the doors that that opened for me. I loved the implication that I had built something of my own — and something that mattered, which I had. But somehow, I also needed that title to reinforce that sense of value.
Letting Go
So, 15 years on from founding my own company, I realized it was time for me to step back and open a new chapter. I sold my company to my team — we became employee-owned — and it was time for me to let go of that title of CEO.
Fortunately, I had an incredible colleague to hand that title on to, and I stepped back. Now, I’m the Chair of the Board of Trustees for the company. And of course, I am the creator of Regenerative Worklife, and I do this work. But there was a long period in between when I didn't know what was coming next — where I didn't have that title to introduce myself. I just was Alisa. That’s all I had. I was Alisa.
Slowly, I got used to the discomfort of meeting someone and not getting to sweep in with this fairly glamorous-sounding title and talk all about my company — about having a company in two countries, our European client base, how many people I employed. Suddenly, I was leading with “Alisa.” You know — Alisa who is a mum, Alisa who loves walking in the woods, Alisa who loves to bake, Alisa who likes to read sci-fi, Alisa who is a really good listener.
And then, over time, I began to be “Alisa the coach.” But that never gave me the same kind of prestige. Coaching is what I love, it's what I do, but it's not a title that comes with the same kind of attachment.
What I'm saying is that there was this kind of wilderness period where I really had to learn who I was without the title. And at first, that was scary. It was difficult. There was a sadness, even, in it.
So I really do understand that attachment. And I'm not promising you that it will be easy to let go of — but what I can tell you is, I am so much more secure in who I am now. I don't feel the need to attach labels to myself.
Some people know me first and foremost as a mum because that's how we're connected through our children. Some people know me as the person they often see walking around in the woods. Some people know me more as a local activist. Some people know me still in my previous role. And a lot of people know me through what I do with Regenerative Worklife — through the work that I do to help people out of corporate and into meaningful work.
But even when I talk about that work, I don't feel the need to lead with a title or a role anymore. I can let the work speak for itself because I'm not defined by it. It's part of who I am. It’s grown out of who I am. It complements who I am. And that is a much more balanced relationship — much healthier, frankly, than where I was before and where I see many of my clients starting out.
Finding Balance
There's so much more space for me, the human — and that is what I see in front of my friend, the GP. I see so much more space for her as the incredible human being that she is — her having time to enjoy being in a domestic setting, her having time to mess around with her children, and her building out a new kind of meaningful work in which I have absolutely no doubt she will help an incredible number of people to heal deeply, because that is just part of who she is.
And that is the opportunity that I believe is waiting for you.
When you can find the courage to reach beyond your job title — let it go, let those confines go — you know it's not who you are anymore, you know it's not working for you. What you don't know yet is who you are without it. But can you find a way to let that not be a fearful question, but let it be a joyful question — one that opens you into all kinds of possibility?
Practical Steps
Now let's pause here and take a look at a few practical steps that you can take.
I hope that what I'm talking about resonates with you. I know lots of people who've reached out and said to me that they experience exactly this kind of fear. And I've also had the pleasure of working with many people who have moved beyond that and are so much happier, freer, and fulfilled by their work — but not overwhelmed and defined by their work.
So start by just naming that attachment. Maybe do some journaling around that question, or just let that question play in the back of your mind: What am I trying to hold onto with this title?
For me, it was a kind of validation that I'd made a good choice stepping out of my acting career and into business. That was a big part of it. It was also this kind of assertion that I'm an interesting person — that when I meet people and I get to say I'm the Founder and CEO, they say, “Oh, that's interesting! Oh, wow!” And I have enough self-awareness to know that I have enough ego that I really enjoyed that kind of reaction. I liked being able to open doors, to be at a networking event and say, “I'm the Founder and CEO.”
Really, what I was doing was outsourcing a lot of my self-worth and my value to that job title. Is that perhaps what's going on for you? What does that title mean to you? And what are you afraid of losing by letting that title go?
And then, when you have that awareness, you can start to think: Where else can I get those things from? It's not wrong to want validation. It's not wrong to want to experience self-worth. It's not wrong, even, to want to be interesting. But how can you broaden your perspective of where those things come from?
It's not just your job that makes you interesting — it's the whole of who you are. Your job is not what makes you a valuable person. Where else does your value come from? And how can you start shifting your attention to some of those other things? How can you start to broaden your sense of identity so that that job title doesn't have such a strong hold over you?
And for a while, how can you just get comfortable with that in-between space — knowing that it's a temporary period, between an old title and a new meaningful work, where you don't have to lead with labels because the work fills you up and it's palpable and all those around you can experience it?
This is really at the heart of regenerative career change — letting go of the label, letting go of a role that somebody else designed — so that you can build a worklife that's truly your own.
That is what I believe is possible for you. That is what I help people to do.
Invitation
If you would like to explore more deeply what that process can look like — how I can help you through that process — I would love for you to reach out to me. I'm always available on email: alisa@regenerativeworklife.com.
We can talk about the various ways that I can support you — from my Courage to Quit offer, which is a concentrated one-off session that I promise will have you walking out the door in a way that you feel really good about, to my longer-term coaching inside the Meaningful Business Incubator, where we will together design, test, and launch your regenerative business.
Closing
So let's come back to the question that we opened with: Who are you without your job?
I hope that from listening to this episode, your energy around that answer feels different. And even if you don't know the answer yet, I hope that you are excited and curious and ready to find out.
Thank you for listening, and I'll see you back here next week.
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Remember: you don't have to tolerate burnout or misalignment. You can redirect your skills into meaningful work that brings back life — to you, and to the world around you.
